@spekulation: My phone corrects "haha" to "hahaha", so all my friends think they're 50% funnier than they actually are.
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@BeardSpice: [God creating spiders] What if I made a tiny land octopus that could walk on walls?
@nbadag: DATE: so...this is your place? ME: yea...not fancy but it suits me. *opens flap of bouncy house* oh, also do you mind taking off your shoes