@ItsJennaMarbles: My phone dies faster than a black man in a horror film.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BeerBatterBeard: The lack of paparazzi at this BBQ makes me think that my aunt can probably stop referring to her potato salad as "famous."
@Underchilde: The scariest thing about the Cold War was the threat of getting stuck inside a bunker with your spouse.
@bromanconsul: LA girls say they want to go on "adventures" but when I pitch the idea of overthrowing the yakuza they clarify that they meant, like, hiking
@ArfMeasures: WIFE: ugh I hate this slow cooker SLOTH [still putting his apron on] I hate you too, Sharon