@Elizasoul80: My phone just fell down a flight of stairs, but it's ok, it was in my pocket.
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@jake_likes_naps: HER: [she puts her hand down my pants] mm what do we have in here ME: [sweatin because thats where I keep my chicken mcnugget stash] nothin
@jordan_stratton: ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING: Hiring recent college grads REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and superpowers.
@BBQJones28: Eye of the Tiger came on the radio so I jumped out my car and shadow boxed till the light turned green.