@perchicoree: My phone never asks me to put my husband down.
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@themorris23: My wife calls it "woman's intuition" but I call it "not clearing your browser history."
@garyfromteenmom: [first date] ok dont let them know i stalked them online them: my aunt-- me: theresa or sharon
@Tommytoughstuff: Here's another great thing about hot tubs [pulls out a bowl of fully cooked ramen from under the water]
@mstern68: Alcohol: You know Kung Fu and you're not afraid to use it Brain: This makes sense right now Body: We're on board Pavement: Come at me bro