@elvisknievil: My plan to reduce shark attacks. Get them hooked on meth. Getting gummed by a toothless shark probably tickles.
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@mattZillaaaa: This old lady in the grocery store was just giving me the weirdest looks and the worst piggy back ride of my life
@SnizzleFrizzle: 12: "Why don't girls like playing dodgeball?" Because we don't like getting hit by balls. 12: *giggles for 5 minutes* You are so my child
@archerenemy: Twitter...because if it can't be described in 140 characters or less, did it really ever happen?