@KKBowls: My psychiatrist told me I need to love myself more. I was like, "damn doc I'm already up to 3 times a day"
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@jwoodham: It's almost Christmas, which means it's almost time to hear my parents' new excuses for why Jennifer Lawrence isn't under the tree again.
@jwoodham: The easiest way to find out if a movie is on Netflix is to simply ask yourself "do I want to see it?" If you do, it's not on Netflix.
@QwertyJones3: I live in fear of my kids going outside when it's raining, because they could get wet and multiply.