@KKBowls: My psychiatrist told me I need to love myself more. I was like, "damn doc I'm already up to 3 times a day"
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@NicestHippo: *walks into son's room to find a recording of him snoring* Dear God *dials 911* Help, a wizard turned my son into a 90's cassette player
@NoogsCorner: Witch Logic: I have the magical ability to turn any item into a flying vehicle. I guess I'll use that broom.
@kumailn: Why didn't we learn about essential oils in school? I mean, that shit is ESSENTIAL. Should've been the first lesson!