@li4mst3w4rt: my reaction to stepping in dog shit is identical to me logging onto facebook...
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@IamEnidColeslaw: Remember when that really cute guy held the door for you at the book store? He doesn't.
@mantej: PRO TIP: Name your first child "butter", then accidentally take a different baby home just so you can say "I can't believe it's not butter!”
@marinhubka: “How about… we change the 6 to a 7?" "I love it!" --board meeting at the company that makes novelty sunglasses for New Year's Eve