@BradBroaddus: My rear view mirror broke off. No biggie, I'll just put one of my contact lenses in backwards.
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@AthenaMystique: Dear Google Maps, Don't insult me by telling me to head "southwest". If I knew where southwest was, I wouldn't be using you. Kthnxbye
@thatdutchperson: Me: yeah, I'm not going to make it in today. Boss:of course, this snow is crazy. Me: Snow?
@pissrifle: this is ur brain *an egg* this is drugs *a frying pan* this is ur brain on drugs *egg & frying pan wearing sunglasses*