@paopao619: My relative's friend posted this. Wypipo so desperate to make the #LasVegasShooting about brown people #LasVegas
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@wescraw: We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they'll dig the wrong way. It's called thinking ahead guys.
@: The tattoo was temporary, but my love of dolphins shooting fire out of their mouths is forever.
@GrantTanaka: "Can you validate my parking?" "You parked beautifully. Your dad would be proud." *wipes away tears* "Thanks."
@dafloydsta: [creating squirrels] GOD: How about a nice bushy tail? ANGEL: Perfect. GOD: Now give it some cocaine, lmao. ANGEL: Wtf.