@paopao619: My relative's friend posted this. Wypipo so desperate to make the #LasVegasShooting about brown people #LasVegas
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@AnOrangeSNES: Galactus is about to eat our solar system when he flips over the label WARNING: CONTAINS MERCURY "No thanks, I'll eat something else."
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Apparently "cool story, bro" is not an acceptable substitute for "congratulations" when your friend calls and tells you she's pregnant.
@baeblacksheep: Trojan condoms were named after a city that was maliciously and deceitfully entered and then burned to the ground? Hmmm....
@adamjest: *makes doctors appointment* *arrives 20 minutes early* *waits in doctors office for 7 hours*