@GrandadJFreeman: My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again.
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@Donna_McCoy: I still remember the childhood pain of having to wear a sweater over my Halloween costume, so don't say I don't know tragedy.
@NoLuckWanted: A guy just offered to buy me a drink. I declined, but heard him say lesbo to his pal. I replied "Only for you, baby". Now he feels special.
@SoVeryBritish: Trains delayed due to: - Wrong kind of sun - Ominous cloud - Slightly damp leaf - Chilly track - Suspicious gravel - Sarcastic swan