@GrandadJFreeman: My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again.
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@ReelQuinn: I wear a ski mask to bed so if there's a home invasion the intruder will think I'm part of the team.
@ItsAndyRyan: Unfortunately, the house having 'period features' turned out to mean we had to get the decorators in once a month.
@ojedge: WATER POLO INSTRUCTOR: "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" ME: [Adjusting the mask & snorkel on my horse] "Of course I do."