@GrandadJFreeman: My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again.
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@sara_ashlynn: My husband is out w/friends & I'm at home w/the kids. I'm going to sprinkle Legos under the covers on his side of the bed.
@goodhairperson: [Guy goes on a date w me] Hm not sure if he likes me [13 more dates] Dunno? [Marries me] It's so confusing [Stays w me 30 yrs] How do u tell
@MistookMistake: I always carry a flashlight with me. That way, if someone locks me in their car trunk, I can entertain myself with cool shadow puppets.