@GrandadJFreeman: My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again.
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@andiedandie0: Just realized my undies are on inside out .. Was gonna change them around . but I figured let the other side get sum action for a change .
@ohpeetie: [ Boyfriend walks into the room ] Well, well, well....if it isn't the boy who tried to break up with me in a dream last night.
@AristotlesNZ: Txt my wife to ask if the gardener came & how 5yo's 1st day of school was. She txt back "He's naked on the couch". I'm afraid to ask who..
@neiltyson: Hmm. Nissan Altima TV commercial boasts NASA inspired zero-gravity seats. But if you're in zero gravity, you don't need seats