@GrandadJFreeman: My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again.
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@Donna_McCoy: It's my patriotic duty to eat bbq and wave sparklers this weekend. Don't wreck it with words like "calorie count" and "hair on fire".
@1Happytwit: Dont think about tomorrow because thats when the judge starts using the term premeditated.
@PeteBlackburn: Biden: I wonder if I’ll still get free ice cream when I’m no longer VP Obama: Joe, we have bigger problems. Biden: