@Just_Lee_: My revenge for being designated driver is putting my car seat warmers on high and convincing my drunk friends that they pee'd in their pants
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@darinlovesbacon: Do you single people want to know what marriage is like? Imagine having an argument in 1993 and talking about it once a week until you die
@MamaFizzles: I kept my whole house clean for three days. But then I felt like my kids had been locked in that closet long enough.
@kimmie_1980: Level of singleness: yelling, "pizza's here!" So the delivery man doesn't think all the pizza is just for me...