@Just_Lee_: My revenge for being designated driver is putting my car seat warmers on high and convincing my drunk friends that they pee'd in their pants
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@MsFoxIfUrNasty: [at gym] *spends 45 minutes untangling headphones *drops phone, squats to pick it up Phew! Good workout! *leaves
@lovemydogduck: I wonder how many calories you burn locking yourself out and having to climb in through a second story window.??
@GianDoh: All toilet seats can be heated toilet seats if you push people off them and sit real fast.