@CackleClub: My right eye wouldn't stop weeping all day until I said BE A MAN YOU FREAK and now it's just drinking beer to hide it's feelings
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@werehedgehog: In 1752, Benjamin Franklin invented electricity because it was no longer considered humane to execute people using an acoustic chair.
@WilliamAder: If you get a present from me with scissors and a roll of tape trapped under the wrapping paper, I'm gonna need those back.
@LosLos__: Doc: Your insurance won't cover it all. Me: What if I sewed myself shut? Doc: Suture self.