@sploosk: my roofing company has gone bankrupt. I kept saying "this one's on the house" every time I finished a roof, how could i be so stupid
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@kelownagoose: If you have your underwear on over top of your pants, I'll let you in line in front of me at the pharmacy.
@WilliamRodgers: Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
@shkeeber: Me: Objection! The plaintiff is a bologna sandwich! Judge: What? M: I plead insanity. J: You're a juror. Me: Can I go? J: No. M: OBJECTION!
@AmberTozer: "Hang out with different people everyday so the only person who knows you've been wearing the same outfit all week is you" - my fashion blog