@Aspersioncast: My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.
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@ThisLocalHater: To the middle-aged guy in front of me at the bookstore buying several martial arts books: Is that even legal with your lack of ponytail?
@hazelmotes1: "I missed you so much!" I shout as I run past my wife's open arms and jump into my bed.
@DaHess1: Referring to another employee as a "gingeraffe"will land you in sensitivity training...no matter how tall and redheaded they are.
@JoParkerBear: [in bed] Him: What are you thinking? Me: (blushing) I don't wanna say Him: You can tell me Me: I wish I knew more about campaign finance law