@Aspersioncast: My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.
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@Shock_Monster: Why do Asian people never seem to age? I met a chinese girl today & I estimate her age to be somewhere between 4 & 197.
@SarahThyre: During love scenes in a Wes Anderson movie, the sound effects guy rubs a baguette against corduroy.
@daemonic3: [spelling bee] Your word is 'impossible' "Oh, well I guess no point in trying" *walks off stage*
@Cpt_Burnout: Subway kid: Would you like your sandwich toasted? Me: No, I'm toasted enough for both us. In fact I'm kind of hoping it can drive me home.