@JermHimselfish: My sense of humor is so dark that my grandmother would have been very unhappy if my sister went on a date with it.
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@FrenulumBreve: ME: [licking lips in anticipation] I'm nervous. I've never done a bungee jump before. INSTRUCTOR: don't lick my lips again.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: I'll never call a radio station because I'm afraid they'll give me tickets to go somewhere and do something.
@djdarrellripley: I can be a real tiger in bed. No, wait, wait... What's that animal that plays dead?