@JermHimselfish: My sense of humor is so dark that my grandmother would have been very unhappy if my sister went on a date with it.
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@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1950. The FBI put out its first 10 Most Wanted list and my dad lost a bet because only 2 of the guys were his brothers.
@vanderwangwe: Her: I want to have your babies. Me: You'll have to wait until they get off from school.
@5hael: Do you think it's weird that the only reason we still have landlines is so cops in movies can wake each other up in the middle of night?