@sophielou: My shetland pony was all black and we called him Midnight. His sister was not quite as dark and her name was Eleven Thirty.
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@caithuls: PROFESSOR: Please don't speak without raising your h- ME: [raises hand] PROFESSOR: [wheeling cadaver table away from me] I meant your own hand
@jonnysun: JESUS: today im going to walk on water JUDAS: NO DONT-- [jesus walks onto ocean. entire ocean turns to wine. all ocean life dies instamtly]
@theBigMvee: Kid 1 swallows coin: rush to ER Kid 2 swallows coin: wait for it to pass Kid 3 swallows coin: deduct from their allowance