@One2thTEXAN: My signature move, is pulling on a push only door, when attempting to get it for a woman.
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@illiter8too: So many athletes thank god for their wins, but I want to see athletes who angrily curse god when they lose.
@KissabiX: Shakira: It's not you, it's me Soon to be ex boyfriend: *looks at her hips* Shakiras hips: It totally is you, you breathe far too heavily
@justabloodygame: *scrawls note on deserted isle* TRAPPED ON ISLAND! HELP ME! *sends off in bottle* *it returns, months later, with reply* NEW BOTTLE WHO DIS?
@adult_mom: I hate when people ask if my newborn is a "good baby" and I have to tell them that he cries a lot and about how he keeps robbing banks