@Darlainky: My single friends are always talking about clubbing and being hit on. Today's social scene sounds so violent.
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@The_Grant_Boldt: "Mom can you pick me up a new comforter at the store?" "Okay" *Mom returns with Morgan Freeman* "I love you mom"
@WillGeorgese: “Relax. It’s not a competition.” “Right. That’s what I say.” “But I said it first.”
@Defiant_Doll: Me: That Febreze smells like Fireball. Roommate: Yeah, normal people call that cinnamon.