@Darlainky: My single friends are always talking about clubbing and being hit on. Today's social scene sounds so violent.
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@vrunt: please god what the hell did i do to deserve all this *flashback to 12 years ago when i threw a flashbang at my own team in CounterStrike*
@comer310: Bro: *on phone* Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe. BABE! Dude: You're so whipped. Bro: What? I just got her to rent Babe instead of The Notebook.
@AnkCoupleTO: Her: Welcome to McDonalds sir, may I take your order? Me: *hands her a shovel with mouth agape* ALL. THE. FRIES.