@laurenreeves: My sister asked if I stole her cream sweater. Uh, yeah. Who else would've stolen it? You think a burglar broke in and was like "Cute top!"
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@mstern68: Alcohol: You know Kung Fu and you're not afraid to use it Brain: This makes sense right now Body: We're on board Pavement: Come at me bro
@shutupmikeginn: My "Not involved in human trafficking" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
@aneesa_p: Contrary to popular belief, when I call tech support, I don't know what the Indian dude is saying either.