@KateWhineHall: My sister had a baby today. I think I've used that as an excuse to get out of more stuff this week than she has.
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@Rollmaninoz: *walks into starbucks* Me: HEY ANY ASPIRING AUTHORS HERE?? SOMEONE FROM PENGUIN PUBLISHING OUTSIDE!!! *has choice of any table*
@summerofbenny: I avoid being photographed at events held at my apartment complex. I don't need someone pointing to a picture and saying,"That's him."
@TheMichaelRock: Breaking News: Playboy to eliminate nude pictures from their magazine. "What's a magazine?" asked every guy under 30.