@KateWhineHall: My sister had a baby today. I think I've used that as an excuse to get out of more stuff this week than she has.
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@BrattyBarbie: I don't care how old you are, the only safe way to guarantee the monster under the bed doesn't grab you is to use the run and jump method.
@hippieswordfish: *suddenly awakes* honey! i just had a nightmare that i was naked at a job interview, licking BBQ sauce off the guy's face interviewer: ummm
@realHamOnWry: My nephew asked, 'How will I know when I'm an adult?' and I said, ' When you hear your favorite Justin Bieber song playing in an elevator'