@realHamOnWry: My sister has promised to sing at my funeral. I hope she goes before I do.
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@panmidwest: ME: [repeatedly trying, and failing, to film a successful water bottle flip] DAVID ATTENBOROUGH: experts project extinction for this species
@Bob_Janke: If your BF wears a gold necklace outside of his tshirt both of you will be asked to get out of your car by the police at gunpoint some day
@flashember: JUDGE: That THING cannot enter ME: But Inky is my pet OCTOPUS IN AN ASTRONAUT'S HELMET FILLED WITH WATER:*squirts ink at him* INKY NOOOOo