@philyuck: my sixth birthday party was so formal that we roberted for apples
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@XplodingUnicorn: My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means she can eat anything off the floor if she waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter.
@jonnysun: JESUS: heaven… must be missing an angel ME: o gee thamk u jesus ur so sweet JESUS: hehe ME: hehe JESUS: time to send u back ME: wait no what
@AintNoFamily: Why is everyone so obsessed with the idea of love? If you're dying to be hurt so badly, I've got a baseball bat for that.
@TheCatWhisprer: Giving somebody a greeting card is the most festive way to deposit $5 into their trashcan.