@Eightinchgoat: My son asked me what language they speak in England. This would have been cute if he wasn't 20 ... And in college.
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@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: What did you do on vacation? Me: Didn't come to work. Coworker: I know that! Me: Good. Glad you understand how vacations work.
@TravLeBlanc: My friend went to a salon and asked them to straighten his hair. So they took out his highlights.
@T_Bonezzz_: A Library is a good place to get in a fight with ur girlfriend cuz its the only place u can get away with saying "Shhh" w/out being murdered