@JaySuch: My son asked me why girls pee sitting down. I told them they're lazy.
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@jordan_stratton: Nice try, horror movies, but the scariest thing I've ever seen is still a 4-year-old holding a sharpie without the cap.
@ThRealBallsDeep: <at a baptism> *leans over* Me:What's the WiFi password? Him:Jesus Christ, dude! Me:That makes sense....is it case sensitive?
@VaultsOpen: My 6 year old nephew is legitimately pissed off that there is no actual monkey in the monkey bread.