@JaySuch: My son asked me why girls pee sitting down. I told them they're lazy.
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@leslid79: I wear my heart on my sleeve because if I wore it on my chest, it'd just get mustard stains on it.
@JessObsess: I just wish I was rich enough to be able to throw all of the pots and pans away after I cook.
@WilliamAder: Whoever gets the gift from me that has scissors under the wrapping paper, I'm going to need those back.