@JaySuch: My son asked me why girls pee sitting down. I told them they're lazy.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: "Welcome to the jungle" Thanks. "We've got fun and games" Cool. "You're in the jungle" We've established this "You're gonna die!" Wait what?
@djdarrellripley: (Sigh) I must be getting older. I just read a whole book about a giant sperm whale called Moby Dick and I didn't giggle once...
@Crutnacker: Biden: I painted "Michelle Obama 2020" on your bedroom ceiling Obama: 😳 Biden: Glow in the dark paint