@ericsshadow: My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@weinerdog4life: When I turn on the lights all of the dads scatter off of my deck, the fat dads can't get over the fence
@colegamble: The strangest thing happened. A coworker who always says, "Living the dream" was mysteriously stabbed 37 times in the neck with my car keys.
@sip_at_home_mom: Toddler misbehaves, but follows it up with throwing his hands in the air and yelling "Ta-da!" so he won't get in trouble. Stealing it.
@WheelTod: Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you'll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief