@Demented_Jokes: My son cried when I gave him his breakfast this morning. I made him scrambled eggs, covered them in ketchup & told him it was Humpty Dumpty.
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@thestlouisan: I just want to have enough followers so that my children can tweet comfortably for the rest of their lives.
@sfreeze6: Ouija boards are officially obsolete, now that the dead can read messages addressed to them on Facebook.
@TheDairylandDon: Worst part of being an idiot is always forgetting it. If I was a smart person, I'd remember I was an idiot from the start and plan around it