@AddTequila: My son: "Dad what's a douche bag?" Me: see that guy sitting with his friends wearing a Bluetooth?....
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TechnicallyRon: Aliens: "Take us to your leader" "No" "What" "Look we've made some mistakes" "Just take..." "It's been a weird year, half of us are morons"
@_gothique: What I've learned from Twitter: 1. Men are pervs 2. Women are pervs 3. Cats are pervs
@ValeeGrrl: Me: Mistakes my own hair for a spider at least once a day & screams Also me: [watching Criminal Minds] I could totally be a cop
@ArfMeasures: [Bar] SEXY GIRL: Wanna go back to my house? ME: That's ok, thanks, I have my own house [3 days later] ME: [spits out coffee] DAMN IT