@shawn_spree: My son does this cute thing where he installs games on my phone and then for weeks I get notifications that my village is under attack.
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@DurtMcHurtt: [intensive care] NURSE: I'll never leave your side, DO YOU HEAR ME?! ME [patient]: wow, I didn't realize how intense the care was here.
@Tmoney68: I've been trying to figure out why I overslept today. Just realized drunk me set my calculator for $7.30.
@dril: i am developing a ground brekaing new app called "MOneyWallet", where you earn "Money Points" by mailing cash to my house