@cornlog: My son is screaming his head off in his room but there's no way I'm going in there if his monster reports are true.
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@slooberbie: One of my wishes in life is to run across the Pacific Ocean in an air tight giant hamster ball.
@radtoria: Spider Island Day 1: The arachnids are intelligent & friendly hosts. They even built me a hammock to ensure my comfort. Day 2: I was wrong.
@MomOnFire: Them: You're burnt out. Me: Yes. T: You need a break M: Yes. T: I'm worried. M: Okay. Will you watch my kids for a minute? T: Hell no.
@dietredbull: it's gotta be as much fun for a slinky to go down an escalator as it is for a human to walk on a treadmill