@cornlog: My son is screaming his head off in his room but there's no way I'm going in there if his monster reports are true.
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@CrackedIllusion: Haven't refilled my prescriptions in a while. Which has been instrumental creating the mass grave beneath this wood shed.
@jus4golf: How many of you have awakened with your spouse holding your hand only to find they are putting your thumb on your iPhone trying to break in?
@AnnaKendrick47: In first grade when I'd tell my parents what I learned in class and they'd act amazed, I'd think "Shouldn't you know this shit already?"