@ShrinkMedia: My son just got his brown belt in Tae Kwon Do. If you threaten him, he bows respectfully before he runs.
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@SloanPerry: when you push a pull door and the person behind says "you need to pull" aye cheers lad sure next plan was to start lifting from the bottom
@QwertyJones3: *Girl comes out in a slinky dress* ME: Ooh that looks like fun *I push her down the stairs*
@JaymayAllDay: I told my friends I found my Lasik surgeon on Yelp and they were horrified. Or interested, I'm not sure, I can't make out faces so well.