@WorkingMom86: My son plays this game where he's a bowling ball and the bowling pins are everything we own.
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@stephenjmolloy: Mugger: Give me your wallet! Me: Back off! I know karate. *later* Me: Well, he called my bluff. Doctor: You have lost a lot of blood.
@Vice_Queen: Calling bullshit on movies. Not once have I walked into a public restroom and found a gun taped to the back of the toilet.
@Try2StopME: He: That's a handsome dog. What's his name? She: Roger He: Does he bite? She: No He: How does he eat then?