@carlyken: My son turns 3 in two weeks and has zero interest in potty training. I'm trying one more time and then it'll be his future wife's problem.
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@GrumpyBahr: North Carolina just legalized same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
@bathflyer: My boss always calls me Sweetypie when he wants me to get him coffee..I estimate he's swallowed a bucket of my spit in the last 4 years..
@david8hughes: [to hot girl at bus stop as bus approaches] "I could easily afford to get on that if I wanted to."