@carlyken: My son turns 3 in two weeks and has zero interest in potty training. I'm trying one more time and then it'll be his future wife's problem.
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@BillArrundale: Tell a woman she has cute kids and she's all proud. Whisper it to her and she calls the cops.
@SergioValenCo: If a woman asks if you "notice anything new" tell her "I do, your beauty surprises me every day." Then continue thinking about velociraptors
@SCbchbum: The funniest part about The Bachelor is the participants actually think being married is a prize.