@gerryhallcomedy: My son used to check under the bed for monsters. So once I hid under there - so he'd see me and laugh. Anyway, child therapy is pricey.
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@aka_fatman: Therapist: It's been 8 years since the death of your parents. How are you coping? Bruce Wayne: I dress as a bat and beat up strangers now.
@djdarrellripley: Her: Oh, you brought me flowers! Me: Yes, one of the many benefits of living next door to a graveyard...
@velvettusk: ♫ Is this the real life? Are you a manatee? Let’s beat up french fries I should lay off the LSD ♫
@Overdue_Bills: Hell yes we can still be friends if you don't drink, I'm not that shallow. You have a driver's license, right??