@JaySuch: My son wanted to go to Disney, but I told him little boys who ruin marriages don't go to Disney.
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@Try2StopME: *washing car* Neighbor: "You washing your car?" Me: "No. I'm watering it to see if it grows into a bus."
@Doublelife64: Me to 4 yr old niece: your shoes are on the wrong feet Niece looks down and says: I don't have any other feet Outsmarted again.