@JaySuch: My son wanted to go to Disney, but I told him little boys who ruin marriages don't go to Disney.
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@illiter8too: So many athletes thank god for their wins, but I want to see athletes who angrily curse god when they lose.
@JackieluvsUK: Gonna start feeding my dog condoms, so when she poops they're already in tiny little bags!
@kwirkyKerri: Sex on the beach means sand everywhere. You just do not want extreme exfoliation in some areas.