@JaySuch: My son wanted to go to Disney, but I told him little boys who ruin marriages don't go to Disney.
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@WoodyLuvsCoffee: HR: The delivery job is yours. Me: Great! HR: Do u have a reliable car? Me: Yes. HR: Model? Me: A little in college. How is that relevant?
@Nocturnesthesia: Went for a handshake and got snubbed. So I turned it into an impromptu Macarena dance, since I didn't wanna look stupid
@CornOnTheGoblin: ♫ Taaaake onnn beeees ♪ [Take on bees] ♪ Taaaake beeeees onnn ♫ [Take on bees] Ooouch I'm stuuuuung ♪ Too many Beeeeees ♫
@SteveKoehler22: No matter how spicy your sex life is ... If he's a two-thymer; cumin in that ginger Rosemary, my sage advice ... would bay to leaf him.