@SusanandTrixie: My spirit animal is fried chicken
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@mishakey: It's fun to watch a waitress flirt with my husband for an entire meal, then see that look of betrayal as I take the check from her hand.
@TheIronSherk: Welcome to ghosts anonymous. Nice to see such a spirited turnout. *all of the ghosts boo in unison*
@DurtMcHurtt: Raccoons are like hobos, they live outside plus they don't like being shaved while they're eating.
@Cpin42: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because you got picked on in high school? Cop: *sniffles* Shut up.