@AristotlesNZ: My stalker sucks. She needs to try harder. I always have to keep going & finding her. It's like I'm following HER around. It's ridiculous.
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@kirsthalliwell: Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life???
@FeverFlave: I would rather have a 100 poisonous spiders dumped on my naked body than a second date. Me: So that's a no?
@NoticablyBacon: Theres a dating website for people that believe the government is ran by lizard people so I really have no excuse for being single