@TheBoydP: My superpower is acting like I'm trying to stop the elevator from shutting when more people are trying to get on without really stopping it.
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@BriarSlyMalice: I told my kids I'd rather they "pull the plug" than let me live in a vegetative state dependent on machines. So they hid my phone charger.
@Everette: iPhone 8 is like your ex coming back after a year saying they changed, you give them another a chance and realize they're basically the same
@XplodingUnicorn: My pregnant friends put me in charge of their gender reveal party I can't wait till they pop the balloon & find out they're having a kraken