@TheBoydP: My superpower is acting like I'm trying to stop the elevator from shutting when more people are trying to get on without really stopping it.
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@ladybroseph: *sits* This is nice. *stands* This is also pretty cool. *lays down* Oh okay this is my favorite.
@Fred_Delicious: Bruce Willis calls the cops to report the pug that's been chasing him. The line is silent except for soft panting. the operator barks
@david8hughes: [interrogation] "Where were u on the night of the 3rd?" Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape?" Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.
@HatfieldAnne: Life Lessons from the Petting Zoo: -Everything bites -So much pushing -Did you bring quarters? -OMG, goats have the weirdest pupils