@SocialustGal13: My superpower is making red lights turn green simply by trying to write a tweet.
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@mrjohntofu: Apparently telling someone you'll catch their next wedding is unacceptable, whatevers.
@better_off_dad: I wouldn't call it 'passive aggressive', but I do send the glitter Christmas cards to the people who annoy me.
@DirtyMelodies: I want my boyfriend to get a tattoo on his neck so I won't have to worry about him getting a job and not having time to hang out with me.