@SexySpainNights: My swear jar has more money in it than my bank account
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@MeepisMurder: in 2nd grade we had to draw what we wanted to be when we grew up and i just drew myself with sunglasses on
@Reel2Dialog2: [from the bottom of a lake] I have this thing where I underestimate the size of puddles.
@Reverend_Scott: [texting] Her: We need to talk. (9:00 am) Him: About? (9:01 am) Him: What? (9:02 am) Him: WHAT??? (9:03 am) Her: Dinner tonight. (4:42 pm)
@hurlarious: I like to leave my gas cap hanging off when I'm on a date so when people start honking and waving I can wave back like I'm famous