@mynameshank: My therapist cries "Why me?" for the full hour.
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@shkeeber: Him: I'm tolerant of the gay lifestyle. A neighbor of mine was gay. Me: Thanks. I'm tolerant of yours too. A neighbor of mine was an idiot.
@KenJennings: You guys, The Hobbit is a straight-up ripoff of my unreleased 3-hour experimental film "Helicopter Shots of People Walking."