@mynameshank: My therapist cries "Why me?" for the full hour.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@hamspamtymaam: Instead of chasing after Taylor Swift, I'm just going to wait until she breaks up with everyone else so I'm all that's left.
@kumailn: "Wow there are a lot of non-brown people in Gaza." - anyone tuning into Ferguson coverage late
@SamuelHLowe: - Hello, princess. Can I call you princess? - No. - OK then, Mr. Smith, let's just get started with your prostate exam.
@cwhudson: [Olive Garden] PATRON: there are so many types of pasta WAITER: [required to say this] yes...*clenches teeth* the pastabilities are endless