@mynameshank: My therapist cries "Why me?" for the full hour.
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@darkmatter_wimp: I'm on a new diet where all I eat is soup on weekdays. It's called: Miso Hungry.
@usermcuserface: How did you find me?? Cop: Your ransom note had pasted letters from a magazine. It was between you and like 4 other people on earth.
@Fred_Delicious: Date - "I must admit, this is a really nice restaurant" Me - 😎 ... Date - "why did you say sunglasses emoji?"