@lovemydogduck: My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
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@KentWGraham: “Press the cube root of the 11th digit of pi divided by .5 and doubled if you’d like to speak with a customer service representative.”
@animaldrumss: Publisher: Mike we can't accept your children's book. It's far too stupid for even the stupidest child. me: It was supposed to be for adults
@MableGertrude: I wonder how many people come visit our country and then immediately leave after trying a slice of American cheese.
@thatdutchperson: [trying to sleep] Me: ok, just breathe and relax. Brain: OR WE COULD TRY AND FIGURE OUT THE EXACT MOMENT ALL YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS DIED