@NJPsychDoc: My therapist says that to be happy in marriage, never go to sleep mad at each other. Been mad at my wife 2 months straight cause of insomnia
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@celticrose2312: Man at garage: "Are you claiming this off your own insurance?" Me: "Yes. I don't think the deer I hit had any insurance."
@PortRooster: Due to a tragic "iTunes on shuffle" incident, I have had to convince the guys at work that I have a 12yr old daughter they have never met...