@AaronCSU54: My therapist thinks meeting women on twitter for sex is a bad idea. His wife disagrees.
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@KeetPotato: doc: "your dad's been in a coma for 9 days, we're running out of ideas" me: "let me try" [goes to adjust thermostat] dad: [opens one eye]
@reinert03: Somebody left a baby at my front door today, and I have no idea what to do with it. I just hope it's gone by tomorrow.
@suzieQ0007: Co-worker: What's the difference between astronomy & astrology? Me: Approximately 50-60 IQ points.