@BromanConsul: My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he's just a lamp so what does he really know anyway
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GABBYdaAngSaya: [I see a cute girl reading a novel] "Hi there. I couldn't help but notice-" *points at book* "That you support the murder of trees."
@TheAlexNevil: "If you love the bed so much why don't you marry it?" *imagines beautiful ceremony on the beach, me & Beddy. No one can stop our love now.
@KalvinMacleod: VILLIAN: all this money is mine BANK TELLER: help us Velcroman, he’s getting away VELCROMAN: *stuck to the floor* who puts carpet in a bank?
@BillyYvonne: Two eggs, some bacon, and a piece of toast walk into a bar. The bartender says, hey! We don't serve breakfast here. #Tellyourworstjoke