@hunz74: My twins hate to brush their teeth. So I just convinced them that it's fun to brush someone else's teeth. Problem solved.
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@StevieKnip: Girls like guys who take charge: ask her out, plan a date, take a hostage, overthrow a government, nuke her ex's hometown, buy her a puppy
@rebrafsim: HER: but you can't leave me - I'm carrying your baby! HIM: HER: HIM: actually, that's how babysitting works. I'll be home in 2 or 3 hours
@Bez: When someone texts "whatcha doin" after midnight the appropriate response is "someone else" even if you're just eatin' pizza all alone.
@girlontapas: My boss is marrying a Chinese woman. Is throwing rice at a Chinese wedding considered lucky or a food fight?