@ConanOBrien: My two favorite things about Easter morning are (1) hiding the eggs and (2) the looks on my kids' faces when the snakes start to hatch.
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@TheBoydP: The only thing worse than getting caught sneaking alcohol into the house by your wife is being called amateur by your teen son.
@Zhanny001: @funTweeters I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers
@F5X11: I send flowers "From Steve" to my neighbors wife every Friday night, then watch them fight from my living room window while eating popcorn