@TylerLinkin: My uncle was a world-famous chainsaw juggler. For one show.
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@adult_keverage: Do you know what's cooler than those fake chains around your license plate? Everything. Every single thing in the world.
@Book_Krazy: THERAPIST: Well, if you know what's good for you... ME: [Holds up hand] "Let me stop you right there"
@TinaMav: How to kill a spider: get a piece of tissue paper, approach it slowly, and very carefully, burn the house down.