@markleggett: My views are my own, although they're heavily based on some stuff Jon Stewart said on TV last night, and the general vibe of the internet.
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@EndhooS: [Meeting friends baby] Me: [bouncing him on my knee] he's a big boy isn't he Friend: yeah he was 11 pounds Me: wow that's cheap
@TheMichaelRock: Tis the season to kidnap a tree, hold it hostage, keep it from its family during the holidays, then leave it for dead.
@pleatedjeans: Kids are so dumb u think Santa's elves made that PS4 yeah right like Sony would ever let that happen learn basic copyright law u lil shits
@neiltyson: Urge is strong to leave work early on summer Fridays to avoid traffic. Most do it & become the traffic they sought to avoid.