@_CherriAnn_: My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can't carry 23 items in my arms through the store.
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@tiffaynay: Burger King employee: what size [drink] would you like? Me (thinking she said 'side'): fries. BK: What? Me: *more forcefully* fries.
@bobvulfov: FACEBOOK: yo remember ur ex from 2 years ago? look at this photo of u together ME: facebook no FACEBOOK: k heres ur dog who died 5 years ago
@seamussaid: hey Disney-Pixar here's an idea maybe make a movie where the daughter ACTUALLY LISTENS TO HER FATHER