@man_spach: My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart.
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@edgarrants: My wife said if she heard me chewing one more time, she was going to murder me. So I stole the batteries from her hearing aids.
@withanewname: Me: *hyperventilating* 911? BEES! ... EVERYWHERE! ... SEND...HELP! "Sir we don't ..." Me: OMG! DON'T YOU HAVE A SWAT TEAM FOR THIS?
@kimlockhartga: Had a little meltdown at work yesterday, so the upside is that everyone will be afraid to talk to me for awhile.